Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Fuck appropriateness.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize