i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
