I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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