ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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