I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
