exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize