I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
