She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm bleeding and have questions
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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