If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize