I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
