Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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