you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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