4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
