he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
