I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
