it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
