everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
