yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
