I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
