it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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