If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
