I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
50% drunk capacity currently
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
