Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize