Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
