I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
