i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
