I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
