Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
