Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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