He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
