i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Welp...herpes.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
