I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
