idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
