I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
