I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
