why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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