He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
