Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
