so explain again why im purple
no
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
