He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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