Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
There's always time for handjobs
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
