I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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