Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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