found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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