Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just want nice things and good sex
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
