Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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