They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
