He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
