is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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