i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
