I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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