Pappa wants mamma naked
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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