remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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