do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
