He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
