I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
