Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
