So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
